“Still Coming Out”

People talk about coming out like it’s a one-time thing. Like you do it once, check the box, and move on. But honestly? It doesn’t work that way.

I’ve come out more times than I can count. First to myself, then to my best friend, then my family. That was the big, emotional part. But after that, it just kept happening… at every new job, with every new group of people, every time someone casually asks, “So, do you have a wife?” And in that split second, I have to decide whether to correct them or let it go.

It shows up in everyday moments, especially those awkward intro rounds, like when you start a new job and everyone’s going around the table sharing their name, role, and a fun fact. Even after all these years, my heart still races a little when I know I’m about to do the thing.

I usually say something like, “Hey, I’m JD, I’m on the comms team. I live in Milton with my partner, Troy, and our Frenchie named Maverick.”

It sounds casual and it is, but that sentence is doing more than it looks like on the surface. It’s a quiet kind of truth-telling. No big speech, no drama. Just clarity. But it's still coming out.

What people don’t always understand is that coming out isn’t just one chapter, it’s woven into your day-to-day life. It’s not about hiding or announcing, it’s about navigating. Constantly. You think through your words. You read the room. You make quick calculations: Is this safe? Will this shift how they see me? Do I have the energy right now to explain myself?

It’s not always hard. It’s not always deep. But it’s always there.

So I try to just be real. Say it plainly. Lead with who I am. Not to make a statement, but to take up the space that’s mine, fully and comfortably.

Because every time I come out, even in small ways, I remind myself that I belong. I don’t owe anyone a big reveal, but I also don’t have to shrink myself to make things easier for others.

So yeah, I’m out. But I’m still coming out. And I probably always will be. That’s just part of it. And that’s okay!

I feel incredibly lucky to work in an environment where being yourself feels easy, supported, and safe. Not everyone has that and I don’t take it for granted.

Happy coming out day to everyone from coast to coast to coast. 

Let’s keep making space, together.